My Love My World

My boyfriend or rather better half is asleep as I write this. He isn’t what most gay men want; that tall, dark, and handsome Prince Charming. Oh he’s tall alright 6’6”, he’s not dark, however he is handsome. He’s not that masculine, butch, muscled guy. He’s lean, tone, and effeminate. I’m the masculine butch one in the relationship. Now by effeminate I don’t me he has a flame up his ass, has a limp wrist, or walks with a swish. He’s just…*shrugs*…less masculine.

With all that said, he is my Prince Charming. He draws the good out of me, thereby making me a better person. Oh, I show those parts but probably not as often as I should and not as strongly as I would without him. He is my hope and inspiration, the reason I get out of bed every morning to take on the day and keep the wolves at bay defending our castle. His is my banner, standing strong and unwavering on the battlefield. When I get kicked, discouraged, tired, and beaten down by this world; I need only look to him. Upon seeing him I am reminded of what I fight so dearly for and why. It is all I need to find the courage and strength to get up off the bloody field and charge head long like a crazed man back into battle.

For no one, NO ONE; is allowed to fall my banner. He is my quiet inner strength, my heartbeat, breath, and soul. He is my lighthouse standing firm against the waves and storms, shining his beacon into the darkness so I a weary ship at sea can find my way home and into the warm embrace of a quiet calm harbor. He is my best friend. Someone I implicitly trust, someone I can tell my deepest darkest secrets and fears to without worry of being ridiculed, abandoned, scorned, or laughed at. He is my, everything and my nothing.



During the end of the movie Kingdom of Heaven there is a line where a Crusader asks Saladin after surrendering Jerusalem to him, “Why is Jerusalem so important?” Saladin responds, “Because it is everything, and it is nothing.” If you’re smart enough you’ll figure out what that means. Trust me it’s important.

I would travel to the ends of Earth and into Hell itself to protect this man from any harm. You may think that clique, but just you try me. I promise you wouldn’t like your outcome. I have tried so many, many times and in so many ways to express just how I feel for him. Sadly I’m not sure if he truly knows or understands. Perhaps if he sees this maybe he will.

Wherever you are in your dreams sweetheart, sleep tight. I'll be right here watching over you.

I Love You
Your Guardian